Ted Haggard is..

Cured? Apparently you can beat the gay out of someone..

Phew! What a relief. That board of four ministers appointed to cure disgraced minister Ted Haggard of his homosexuality has been meeting pretty intensively. And it turns out Haggard is now "completely heterosexual."

Rev. Tim Ralph of Larkspur, one of the four, said: ''He is completely heterosexual. That is something he discovered. It was the acting-out situations where things took place. It wasn't a constant thing.''

As part of his continuing recovery and presumably in the spirit of forgiveness and caring, the group has also recommended he leave Colorado permanently and go into a different line of work. "It's hard to heal in Colorado Springs right now," said Rev. Mike Ware of Westminster, another member of the board, "It's like an open wound. He needs to get somewhere he can get the wound healed."

-- Josh Marshall